“Famous” Women Whom I Probably Shouldn’t Find “Sexy”

. . . But Do!

We all have “crushes” on famous chicks (and dudes!) that if we ever told anyone people would go, “Really?”
Here are a few of my own celebrity “crushes” who fit this category.

Khloe Kardashian

I know that Kim and/or Kourtney are supposed to be the “sex symbols” of the Kardashian clan but there’s just something about Khloe-like, say, her luscious rear!-that just yanks my crank (literally!)!

Courtney Stodden

I have NO idea how or why Courtney Stodden is “famous” and she has all the, shall we say, attributes of a blow up sex doll but, on the other hand, why the hell NOT?

Kelly Osbourne

I know she looks similar to her Dad Ozzy-whom I definitely do NOT have a “crush” on!-but so long as she does NOT bite the head off a bat or anything, again, why the hell NOt?

Sandra Bernhard

Some people may wonder why I find comedienne/actress Sandra Bernhard “sexy” and I would have to tell them I have NO idea!

Lisa Rinna

Lisa Rinna starred on TV shows like Melrose Place and now can be seen on shows like Dancing With The Stars and various bitchy “reality” shows. For at least some idea as to why I find her ”sexy”, check out her nudie pictorials-the first of which she did while she was pregnant-in Playboy magazine (back,of course, when guys still,uh-hum,read stroke mags like PB but ONLY for the, uh-hum, articles!).

Crista Flanagan

Crista Flanagan is another comedienne/actress who’s best known for starring on the shows MadTV and Mad Men. She also later posed starkers for Playboy. And that’s pretty much it!

Ilana Glazer

Ilana Glazer starred on the popular Comedy Central show Broad City. And that’s pretty much all I got to say about her!

Nadya Suleman a.k.a. Octomom

Nadya Suleman a.k.a Octomom became a household name after she gave birth to over a dozen kids via in vitro fertilization. To earn some extra cash, she made a “solo” porno move called Home Alone where she . . . well, you know! (And, if you don’t, you can always Google it!)

Kristen Stewart

Kristen Stewart is most noted for starring in all those godawful Twilight flicks and for complaining about being famous. Nice legs, though!

Kitty Bush

Kitty Bush is a hirsute-or hairy-porn star. Enough said!

Barbara Streisand

I included Barbara Streisand on this list because she looks like the girl I lost my virginity to on the cover of her Superman album (although the album SUCKS). Ah, memories!

Ivanka Trump

While Ivanka Trump is without a doubt one of the HOTTEST woman on the planet (and THIS list!), she STILL came out of THIS guy’s penis so there you go!

And, lastly, for anyone, “woke” or otherwise (but mostly “woke”!), who will no doubt call THIS list “sexist” or whatever, I just have to say that when Jack Black gets named “Sexiest Man Alive” and/or when that Paul Blart fella gets cast as the lead in the next Magic Mike flick, then you can lecture ME about “sexism” or whatever. Deal?



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Tony Banks

Tony Banks writes dirty books under the pen name of Angel Ray that you can, of course, find on Amazon. Twitter username is @SensualNovelist.